Jilling Off

I absolutely understand the point of this video but I can’t say that it doesn’t arouse me as well, and that’s kind of fucked up.

Recently, Giant wrote that he was surprised that I have tendencies towards being dominated. I can get where he’s coming from – outwardly I’m a bossy, in control woman (I do PR for a living) but seriously, if you’re ordering minions, printers, caterers and stupid clients around all day, don’t you think that you’d want to come home and be able to switch off totally too?

That is of course the superficial level of domination/sublimation, but unfortunately anything to do with sex has to go deeper. I like to think that I am amongst strong feminist women, so the idea that I want to be dominated and degraded does really not sit well with me as a feminist. I know there’s a difference between fantasy and reality though, and this is where I’m especially grateful to Dan Savage for explaining it so clearly:

Like many fetishes, his cuckold thing is most likely a subconscious erotic response to a sexually charged fear. While most of us learn to live with and occasionally conquer our fears without eroticizing them, a number of us respond to sexual fears or traumas by incorporating them into our erotic imaginations. Think of women—hip, together, progressive, feminist women—who act out rape fantasies; think of the homos—hip, together, out homos—who dress up like soldiers, cops, firemen and other stereotypically violent homophobic types.

So women fear rape, yet some develop a fetish for it. Gay men fear violent homophobes, yet some dress up like violent homophobes. And what do many straight men fear? Being cheated on, of course, and dealing with that particular brand of sexual humiliation.

So yeah, I think if I was imagining people grabbing me the way they did when I was 12, if I was fantasizing about leather jerkins and tattoos on bare chests,then that would be really troublesome. If I want someone to pull my hair, call me a dirty slut and maybe spank me a little, I’m okay with that.

I’m sure Jill was far too kind in her introduction, however, I really do enjoy writing stories that make people horny. And the most interesting thing I’ve discovered when writing stories via email for Jill is that I’m not as much of a sub as I thought I was.

Turns out I’m a switch.

After I discovered Jill’s tendencies towards being dominated (something that surprised me) I started writing things to her like:

I let you roll you onto your back and reposition the pillows so that your pussy is still in the air. Just to be nice I suck your clit, running my tongue over it hard and fast. You almost cum straight away but I sense the orgasm start and break off, leaving you writhing and moaning.

This also surprised me, because normally I’d want to be on the recieving end of something like that.

Jill mentioned that I’m a feminist, and I am. Which I thought made dominant fantasies quite strange, until I remembered that they were all really about giving pleasure to the sub.

Anyway I’m going to leave these half-formed ideas and just hope you all enjoy reading my stories (some real, some not).

I’ve linked to One D at a Time since the start of this site, and now I want to quote an article that Tracey wrote for Vice, since it’s a sentiment I agree with myself:

I blame my recurring rape fantasy on the fact that I’m a feminist.

So what does she do? Hires someone off Craigslist, of course, and then writes about it. It’s a hilarious story, and it also made me hot and bothered. Because it’s fantasy, it’s not real. And she remained in control. I can imagine that this is a piece that would bother a good number of people though.

Normal servicing should resume sometime soon.

Have you seen the new ALAC ad about ‘It’s not what we’re drinking, it’s how we’re drinking’? You know, the one in which a woman gets drunk, and then gets taken into a dark alley by a dodgy-looking guy? I know that it may be true that more women end up in dangerous situations when there’s a lot of alcohol, but I can’t help but take away the message “if you’re drinking too much, you deserve what you get” from the ad, and that makes me as mad as hell.

And don’t even get me started on how FHM did a survey of their readers and discovered that they prefer size 12 women to size 8 women, and so an editor of Cleo was all “oh but it’s other women that women diet for”. Other women huh? Like, oh, I don’t know, the editors of magazines who make frequently use size 8 models in their editorial spreads?